The Monster's Alphabet
by alliterator
Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons. Updated
1. A is for Adam

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Adam

Takes place during Season 4's "Goodbye Iowa."

_"__Aggression is a natural human tendency. Though you and me come by it another way."_

- _Human Adam in _Restless

The demon in Adam wanted food, but the machine in his didn't need it. The machine wanted information, but the man wanted comfort. The man wanted to walk in the light, but the demon was nocturnal.

The three parts of Adam were conflicting. Demon organs were placed side by side with human organs and machine parts. A human liver was next to the demon's second heart, which was next to the uranium power core that made Adam live.

Adam didn't know where the demon stopped and the human began and where the human stopped and the machine began. He was three individuals, three species, without clarity, without purpose.

The little boy gave him clarity, gave him purpose. "You're a monster," the boy had said. Monster.

The demon side told him that monsters were what it was, that what he did to the boy with the bone skewer was the work of a monster. The human side in him said monsters hid under beds, which he didn't do, and attacked little children, which he had done certainly. The machine in him define monster as an imaginary or legendary creature that combines parts from various animal or human forms.

He wasn't imaginary or legendary, but the second part suited him just fine. So his three sides were in agreement. He was a monster.

And he would do what monsters did.


	2. B is for Balthazar

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Balthazar

Spoilers for Season 3's "Consequences."

_"It has been a hundred years since my enemy crippled me. Now ultimate power is within his grasp and I will not see it happen. This town is MINE to destroy. My amulet will give me strength, strength to kill him, to kill all my enemies, to burn this world to a cinder!"_

- _Balthazar in _Consequences

He used to be thin. Back in 1898 he was a muscular demon, horrific and frightening and able to tear apart any creature with his bare hands. With the El Eliminati in tow, he went the Hellmouth to try to end all human life.

It was a noble mission and one he was truly prepared to see happen. He had prepared for everything: earthquakes, floods, even the arrival of the Slayer. He would rip her head from her shoulders and drink of her blood and then end mankind's pitiful existence.

Unfortunately, he was not prepared for the wealthy landowner that was mayor. The Mayor had sent his Deputy Mayor, Gleaves, to greet him, while the Mayor was secretly performing a spell.

Gleaves was a trickster. He stole Bathlazar's amulet and when Balthazar was unprotected the Mayor's spell struck. The spell was strong, it almost killed Balthazar. The Mayor sent a mob to finish the job, but the El Eliminati scared the off and dragged their fallen leader away from Sunnydale.

Away from the Hellmouth he was too weak even to feed, so the El Eliminati had to bring him his meals. So he would regain his strength faster, they brought him food six or seven times a day, often having to get them from neighboring towns to avoid detection.

After many years, he finally regained the power that the Mayor had stolen from him. There were only two problems: he was still missing his amulet and he was fatter than a house.


	3. C is for Catherine Madison

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Catherine Madison

Spoilers for Season 1's "The Witch."

_"Her nickname was Catherine The Great: she took that team and made them tri-county champions; no one's ever done that before or since."_

- _Amy Madison in_ The Witch

She wasn't beautiful; she was too scrawny, too much of a stick figure. In those days, that counted against you. She was teased by all the popular kids and when she heard about cheerleading tryouts, she saw it as a way to get them all back.

She worked out morning, noon, and night. Her mother had died when she was seven and her father was always at work, so she had a lot of time to herself. She practiced the cheers over and over again, often working until two in the morning.

But when tryouts finally came around, she knew she wouldn't win. It didn't matter about skill, only if you were pretty and popular.

So she cheated. She had learned about magic from her grandmother a few years back. When her grandmother had died, she had left her book of spells to Catherine. The night before tryouts, Catherine desperately looked through it for a spell to win. In between two stuck together pages, she found the ingredients for the "ambitio aura": a spell that would grant her deepest desires of popularity. She mixed the potion and won a spot on the cheerleading squad the next day.

The rest seemed like a blur to her. Winning the tri-county championship, becoming King and Queen of Homecoming with the star quarterback, getting married to him. For the first time in her life, she was genuinely happy, even though her popularity was not real.

And then she became pregnant. Having a baby took away her strength a bit, made her magic waver. The spell faded a little bit; not enough for her to notice, but enough that if people looked at her closely, they could almost see her real face.

Over the years, the spell slipped further and further, until twelve years after Amy Margaret Madison was born the spell disappeared. Her husband, seeing her cold and vicious face, immediately left and tried to get Amy to come with him, but Catherine held onto her, fought him in court, and won.

After all, Amy was her own flesh and blood.  She wouldn't let her own daughter go; especially not after she learned the mind-switching spell would only work between blood relatives. It was her legacy to be a cheerleader.


	4. D is for Dracula

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Dracula

Spoilers for Season 5's "Buffy vs. Dracula."

_"But you're not going to catch him napping in a crypt. No, 'The Count' has to  
have his luxury estate and his bug-eaters and his special dirt, doesn't he?"_

- _Spike in _Buffy vs. Dracula

It was 9:32 pm when the poker game began. There were five players: a Cerastes demon, who was nervously dripping venom; a Volucer Volucris, who held his cards in his antennae; a Lacerta demon, who always hissed when he had a full house; a Lentusum demon, who always left slime on the cards; and a vampire, who was going to win, especially since he was cheating.

It was London, 1942, and German bombs were exploding outside the ratty bar in which the poker game was taking place. The demons didn't care; it just meant more food to them. Spike was only worried that Drusilla might wonder out from the hotel room and be hit by shrapnel, but he knew she would wait for him.

By 10:45 pm, Spike's cheating had paid off; he had won about 90 pounds. That was when a mist came under the door and into the room. All the demons, except for Spike, covered their mouths, thinking it was gas, but it soon coalesced into the form of a pale vampire with a dark cloak.

"Gentlemen," he said, "do you know who I am?"

"Don't really care mate," Spike said.

"I am a son of Satan, the Devil's own disciple," the pale vampire said, ignoring Spike. "I am Dracula."

"What do you want?" Spike said impatiently.

"I'd like to join you for a game of cards," Dracula said.

"Uh… okay," the Lacerta demon said.

"Now wait a minute," Spike stood up. "We're already in the middle of a game. You have to wait until it's over."

"I do have money to wager," Dracula said taking out a large stack of bills.

Spike looked at them and said, "Well, why didn't you say something, mate. Sit down, get a glass of blood, and let's get started."

Over the course of the next hours, Dracula preceded to win all the games. Spike used every trick in the book, but it seemed Dracula always had a way to beat him.

Finally, at 12:21 pm, a bomb exploded near the bar and Spike was able to successfully slip an ace into his hand without anyone noticing. He wanted to win this pot, not because it was particularly big (it was only nine pounds), but because he wanted to show up Dracula and show that he was better.

Dracula added another two pounds into the pot and the Cerastes, the Volucer Volucris, the Lacerta, and the Lentusum all folded.

"Well, my friend," Dracula said to Spike, "I guess it is just between you and me now."

"Guess so," Spike said smugly. "Show your hand."

Dracula did and, unsurprisingly, it was a full house. Spike showed his hand and the other demon's gasped at the straight flush. This was the first time anyone had beaten Dracula.

"Well," Dracula said looking down at the cards, "I guess the best vampire won."

"I guess I did," Spike said with a wide grin on his face.

"I think now, I will be departing," Dracula said.

"Too bad," Spike said, "this was just starting to get good."

"I'm glad you enjoyed our game," Dracula said. "Good night." Then he turned to mist and left out onto the London street.

"You have to wonder how he does that," the Cerastes said.

"It's a bloody parlor trick," Spike said. "It doesn't mean…" It was then that Spike looked at the table and saw that there was no money left. He bounded over the table and ran outside, but Dracula was already gone. Spike looked around and then hit the wall with his fist. "Bugger."


	5. E is for Ethan Rayne

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Ethan Rayne

Takes place after Season 4's "A New Man."

_"__We're relics, mate. Dusty scraps of a world that doesn't exist anymore."_

- _Giles in_ A New Man

In the Nevada Desert Compound, which is designed to hold what the government has deemed "unusual criminals," the inhabitant of cell 247 is a bit bizarre. Even compared to the bank robber with see through skin, the killer who bled venom, and the several reptilian creatures that occupied some of the cells there, the man in 247 was different.

For one thing, he was perfectly polite. When the nurses came to take blood samples, he chatted with them and complimented them on their new hairstyles. He tried to make idle chat with the guards. He never screamed or cut himself or threw his excrement across the room (as the monkey man in cell 221 did).

Which was why the guards didn't mind accommodating his request to have a small garden. They gave him a small rectangular box filled with dirt and some seeds and within a month, he had grown several flowers that he plucked and handed out to the nurses. They smiled when they received them and sniffed the flowers deeply.

On the way of his cell, their eyes suddenly rolled back into their heads and they collapsed, leaving his cell door open. He took some dirt, spouted a few Latin phrases over it, and threw it in the guards face and within seconds the guard was on the ground, his eyes burning.

The occupant of cell 247 was the first prisoner to escape the Nevada Desert Compound. Along the way, he killed two nurses, six guards, and one prisoner that stuck his tongue out at him.

The Compound immediately sent out troops to find him and bring him back, but they had no luck. It seem that he had disappeared into the sand dunes.

Which was, more or less, accurate, since the military found a week later that one Ethan Rayne had checked into the Dunes Hotel in Las Vegas.


	6. F is for the First

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

The First

Takes place post Season 7's "Chosen."

_"Beyond sin, beyond death... I am the thing the darkness fears. You will never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate --"_

- _The First in_ Amends

As the bus drove away from the crater that was once known as Sunnydale, Buffy looked back and thought, _Good riddance_. Sunnydale was her home, the place where she had met her best friends, but it had also been her worst enemy. It was the town, with the Hellmouth underneath it, which had attracted every manner of vampire and demon. And now the Hellmouth was closed for good.

Buffy stretched out her arms and legs on the uncomfortable bus seat and yawned. Almost dying again really took it out of her. She looked back at the crater again and saw swirls of wind and dust before she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

When she opened her eyes, everything was dark. She stood up and her eyes tried to get adjusted to the darkness. She reached out her arms and felt a rock wall. She felt the wall slope upwards and she realized that she was in a cave.

Suddenly, she could see a light in the distance, a fire blazing. She walked towards it slowly, not knowing what to expect.

When she saw Her, she knew this was just a dream. She was writing on the stone walls with chalk, Her dark skin painted with war paint, Her fingernails jagged. The First Slayer.

"Why am I here?" Buffy asked.

The First Slayer kept on drawing with the piece of chalk. Buffy came closer.

"What am I doing here?" Buffy asked.

The First Slayer kept on drawing upon the wall. Buffy approached and tried to examine the chalk drawing. There was a girl – Buffy was pretty sure she was the Slayer – who was holding on a sword with one hand and a curved knife in the other.

"What does it mean?" Buffy asked.

The First Slayer suddenly turned her head and glared directly at Buffy. This swift motion surprised Buffy and she stepped backwards, but the First Slayer was fast and reached out and caught her shoulders, propelling her onto the ground.

In a raspy growl, She said, "It is forever. It is eternal. Accept it."

And then Buffy woke up. She squinted because of the bright overhead light.

"Buffy," she recognized Giles's voice, "thank god you're awake."

"We knew you'd be okay, Buffy." Xander's voice.

"You gave a scare there for a while." Faith.

Buffy looked around, the blurry figures coming clearer, and said, "What happened?"

Dawn came forward. "You passed out in the bus. The doctors said you lost a lot of blood and if we hadn't gotten you here on time, you might have died."

Buffy lifted her hand and brushed Dawn hair. "You know that wouldn't have stopped me." Dawn smiled.

"Well, I'm sure you need your rest," Giles said, "and all these people in here can't really be helping." Buffy's vision finally cleared up enough so that she could see all the surviving Potentials… now Slayers were inside her room. "So out, let's all get out and let Buffy rest."

All the Slayers left and only Xander, Willow, and Giles were left in the room. "Thank you," Buffy said. "And what I'm going to ask is strange, but can you also leave too?"

"Don't you want some company?" Willow said and Buffy knew she was thinking of how she had pushed away any friendship these last few weeks.

"Yes," Buffy said. "I'd just like to be alone for a few minutes. Just five minutes, please."

Xander and Willow looked at each other. "Sure," Xander said and he and Willow left.

"I'll be right outside," Giles said and exited too.

As soon as they were gone, Buffy, with great pain, got up from her bed. She clutched her stomach where she had received the wound and felt stitches through the thin hospital gown. She was in pain, but she knew what she had to do.

"I'd knew you'd come here," she said.

"I'd never left," a voice said from behind her. His voice. "I've always been watching you."

Buffy turned around slowly and saw him, looking the same as always, blond hair, black duster. "Ironic. You using that image when it was him that really stopped you."

"Nothing can stop me, Buffy," it said, morphing into a mirror image of Buffy. "I am forever. I am eternal."

Buffy looked at it with a blank face and then smiled. "I know." That seemed to shut it up; it didn't have a response to it. "I know what you are and I know you won't ever go away. But I do know a way to stop you."

"I told you," the First Evil said, "nothing can stop me. I am Evil, pure and absolute."

"But I'm not," Buffy said. "I'm… well, not human, but close enough that I have a soul and a conscience and can choose between good and evil like everyone else. But for the longest time I would never admit I had an evil side to me. I did things I could never take back, I treated by friends badly, but I never admitted to having evil within me."

"Is this going somewhere," the First said, "or am I going to have to kill you to shut you up?"

"I admit it now," Buffy said. "I have evil within me. I have since I was born, since I was called as a Slayer."

"Yawn," the First said. "Wake me when this speech is over."

"You're a part of me," Buffy said and suddenly the First was silent. "You'll always be a part of me, a part that I can never open up for fear of hurting someone. But I can admit to having it."

"What are you yammering about?" The First was fading now.

"If you are the total embodiment of evil and I have evil within me," Buffy said, "then theoretically, I can control you. By accepting the darkness within, I can defeat you."

The First was fading even more now. "You can't defeat me, little girl. You don't even understand what I am!"

"Maybe not," Buffy said, "but I understand what I am." And then the First completely vanished and Buffy was left alone. She collapsed back on the bed and Giles came rushing in.

"Buffy," he said, "I heard you talking. Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine, Giles," she said. "It's gone. It's really gone."

"Yes," Giles said, "yes it is. Now get some rest." He tucked her in and she fell immediately asleep, not troubled by dreams at all.


	7. G is for the Gorches

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

The Gorches

Takes place after Season 2's "Bad Eggs."

_"__You are just a big, strong, manly cowboy and I love you."_

_ - Candy Gorch in _Homecoming

Lyle Gorch sat at the bar and tried to drown a whole bottle of whiskey. He also succeeded, but the last whole of the bottle dripped on his chin and shirt instead. He wiped his chin dry with his sleeve.

"Classy," a voice said from behind him.

"I can be when I want to," Lyle responded. "I just don't want to right now."

"Well, you may want to reconsider." A woman – the owner of the voice – walked up beside him. She extended her hand. "Candy."

He grabbed her by the shoulders and his face morphed into a demonic visage. "Lyle Gorch," he said.

He was completely surprised when her face morphed into that of a vampire's as well. "You don't think I'd walk into a demon bar without being a demon?" she asked.

Actually, he had. He wasn't the brightest of vampires. "Leave me alone," he said and pushed her away.

"Not so fast," Candy said. "I see you don't want company, but I have a proposition to make."

"I don't want no proposition," Lyle said and grabbed another bottle of whiskey from behind the counter. The bartender's hand stopped him and Lyle flashed his fangs. The bartender, however, had larger ones. And horns.

"I'll pay for this one," Candy said and plopped down a twenty on the counter. The bartender retracted his hand.

"I don't you I don't want any proposition," Lyle said.

"Just hear me out," Candy said, "and if you still want me to leave, then I'll pay for the rest of your drinks."

_How could it hurt?_ Lyle said. _I'm out of money anyway._ "Fine, what's your proposition."

Candy smiled. "I hear that your brother died recently."

"No, he died in 1846, ten minutes before I did." Lyle started to drink straight from the whiskey bottle. "But he was just dusted last month."

"By the Slayer?"

"Yep," Lyle lied. Dying by the Slayer was nobler than getting eaten by a gigantic tentacle monster.

"So you're in need of a partner." 

"I'm not going to have any partner anymore," Lyle said. "Don't need one, don't want one."

"Try to think of your brother's demise as a blessing," Candy said. "With him gone, you can have me. You're trading up." Lyle turned his head to look at Candy. She turned so he could witness her body in profile. Lyle had to admit she was very pretty. And it had been a long time…

Lyle smiled. "Alright. But first there's an assignment I want you to do before you become my partner."

"And what's that?" Candy asked.

Lyle bent over and whispered into her ear. She laughed and then turned and kissed him passionately.

Pulling away she said, "I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful relationship."


	8. H is for Hansel and Gretel

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Hansel and Gretel

Takes place in 1249__

_"__There are demons that thrive on fostering persecution and hatred among the mortal animals. Not on destroying men, but on watching them destroy each other. They feed us our darkest fear, and turn peaceful communities into vigilantes."_

_ - Giles in _Gingerbread

Gregory moved through the forest, leaving footprints in fresh snow. The snow was so think in some places that his boot would sink in almost all the way.

"Quickly, it's over here," he heard Sam say. Sam had come to him an hour before and told him that there were bodies in the wood and that he should come quickly. "We're almost there," Sam said.

"How much farther is it?" Gregory asked. He was the local constable and he was obligated to investigate, but he would much rather be at home in front of the fireplace and not out here, treading through snow.

"Only about half a farthing," Sam said. Gregory wondered if Sam had just imagined what he saw. Sam wasn't the brightest – he was mildly retarded, but hid it well. Gregory kept this secret from the other townspeople – after all, Sam was a good enough person – but now he wondered if perhaps Sam had started hallucinating.

Suddenly, Sam stopped dead in his tracks. "We're here," he said. He raised his hand and pointed at a clearing up ahead. "They're in there. I don't want to go any further."

"I'll go," Gregory said. "You can stay here." Sam nodded his head and Gregory entered the clearing.

At first, all he saw was snow. And then he saw them. Faces sticking out of the snow, skin blue, frozen. Two of them. Children. They were only children. Gregory ran to where they were buried and frantically started to dig them out, hoping against hope that they were alive, but knowing in his heart that they had succumbed to killing frost.

As he uncovered their bodies – which were covered in rags, entirely inadequate for this type of weather – Gregory noticed something else. There was a mark upon their hands. When he examined it, he saw that it was a symbol of a half-moon and three stars.

"Witches," Gregory whispered. "I'll make them burn for this."

And back in the woods, Sam, shivering, turned to the little boy and girl and said, "I did good, didn't I?"

"Yes," the little boy said.

"But," the little girl said, "you have to make the bad people pay now."


	9. I is for the Incan Princess

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

The Incan Princess

Takes place in 1478

_"You are the Chosen One. You must die. You have no choice."_

_- __The Bodyguard in _Inca Mummy Girl

They brought her high atop the mountain, Sabancaya. They had wrapped cloth around her eyes so she wouldn't see, but it was not needed; her eyes were tightly closed out of fear.

Hitting her foot on a rock, she stumbled and fell upon the ground. Men – from her village, those whom she had talked to not a week before – grabbed her arm and pulled her up and dragged her along.

High overhead Condors flew – she knew the sound of the Thunderbirds' wings flapping. She wished that she could fly with them, that she could escape her fate. But her wishes were ignored and the men kept on dragging her up, up the Tongue of Fire[1].

When they finally reached its edge, she could smell the sulfur. "Please!" she cried out, "I beg of you, don't do this."

"You are the only one," one of the men said. "You are the only one that can defend our people from the nether world."

"I do not want to die!" she said.

"You must," an older man said. She recognized his voice; he was the one who condemned her to death. "You are the aclla[2]. It is your destiny to die." Just then, she felt the hands holding onto her shoulders, a knife pressed against her breast.

"Please!" she pleaded again.

"Death is your gift," the older man said as he plunged the knife into her.

[1] Sabancaya, a volcano in Peru, means 'Tongue of Fire' in Quencha, the Incan language.

[2] An 'aclla' is a chosen woman in Incan society – a princess.

Thanks to the Annotated Buffy (www.justinleader.com/annotatedbuffy/) for those and other facts!


	10. J is for the Judge

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

The Judge

Takes after Buffy Season 2's "Innocence" but before Angel Season 1's "Hero."

_"It's a legend way before my time... of a demon brought forth to rid the Earth of the plague of humanity... separate the righteous from the wicked… and burn the wicked to the ground."_

- _Angel in _Surprise.

_"What are they?"_

_"Death."_

- _Angel and Doyle in _Hero.

Underneath the ground, in the sewers, there is a gathering of demons. There are all kinds there – Karimmengwe, Berothar, Eldrdr, Mincha, even a few Lei Achs. They are gathered around one demon in particular. He's tall – not as big as Eturakalung demon, but bigger than some – and there are large stitches across his face. He's wearing a uniform and jackboots. With all the demons surrounding him, he finally speaks.

"I know you have worked long and hard," he says to them. "I know that since our numbers have diminished, we have been weak. But now that we have it, we will increase our size so much that we will raze this world!"

The crowd cheers. The lead demon smiles.

"All the humans will perish underneath His light – as will the half-humans and crossbreeds that make our bloodline impure. His light – His power will cleanse us all and we will rule like we were meant to!"

More cheers. The lead demon steps down – we see now that he was standing on a box. He's not as tall now, but still an imposing figure in the crowd of demons. He picks up the box he was standing on. It's old and covered in carvings.

"Our enemies thought they could hide Him from us! They thought by dismembering His body, that He wouldn't be able to rid this world of the human filth. They were wrong!"

The crowd's cheers become louder and as they quiet down, the demon starts to talk again.

"He is all powerful – even in His dismembered form. He cannot be beaten back! He cannot be defeated and neither can we!"

As the crowd's cheers rise up, the demon opens the box and takes something from inside.

"He will guide us!" the demon yells and the crowd quiets down again. "He will guide us to our rightful place and make every human and crossbreed suffer for what they are." He holds up the object he took from the box: it is a heart – but it's not human. It's larger than his entire hand, it's tinged a weird blue, and it's still beating. "When His Beacon shines, it will be the Day of Judgment!"

And the crowd goes wild.


	11. K is for Kralik

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Kralik

Takes before Buffy was the Slayer, but spoilers for Season 3's "Helpless."

_"Why did you come to the dark of the wood to bring all these sweets to grandmother's house?"_

- _Kralik in_ Helpless.

A girl with dark brown hair and a freckled face walked down a darkened hallway. In one hand, she held a stake, which she gripped tightly. The other hand was just bawled up, her fingernails making deep indentations in her hand.

"Just pull and keep quiet," a voice said from the shadows. The girl turned around, trying to find where the voice was. "Those are your grandmother's intestines." The girl swallowed nervously and kept walking along the hallway.

She reached the door at the end of the hallway and put her hand on the doorknob. "Eat and keep quiet," the voice said again and the girl turned her head, but she still couldn't see where it came from. "They are your grandmother's teeth."

The girl turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. She looked inside the room and saw no one. "Eat and keep quiet. They are your grandmother's jaws." The girl tried to stay calm, but her expression revealed her terror.

She closed the door and walked by down the hallway. "Drink and keep quiet." The girl turned again, still searching for the voice. "It is your grandmother's blood!" And the voice came up from behind her, grabbed her shoulders, and sunk its teeth into her neck. She struggled, but the voice's hands held her. She screamed, but that just made the voice drink deeper.

And after several minutes of draining her, the vampire dropped the girl to the floor. "Mmmm, salty," Zachary Kralik said. "I always like eating the British – they always taste so good."

Suddenly, the door to burst open and several men poured into the hallways. One was holding a gun and quickly shot Kralik. "Ah, man," Kralik said, "just when I was at the fun part." And then he collapsed with a tranquilizer dart imbedded in his torso.

The men moved forward. They were dressed in suits with ties and one started wrapping chains around Kralik's hands and feet, while another checked to see if the girl's pulse.

The man who checked the girl's pulse – a young Watcher named Bryce – came up to another of the men. "I'm sorry, sir," he said. "Elaine's dead."

"Well," Quentin Travers said, "I guess we'll have to start with another Slayer. What a waste."

Author's Note: The lines Kralik speaks to the Slayer are from an Italian/Austrian version of 'Little Red Riding Hood,' called 'Little Red Hat.' I chose the story because it was particularly gory and the traditional wolf is replaced by an ogre, so I figured Kralik would like that and remember that particular version..


	12. L is for the Lamprey demon

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

The Lamprey demon

Takes during Season 6's "Once More, With Feeling," but spoilers for "DoubleMeat Palace."

Author's Note: This is a little different from the other vignettes – well, actually, it's a lot different. All the vignettes so far have been serious, so I thought it was time for something funny. For some reason, the idea of a penis-shaped demon singing seemed hilarious to me, so I wrote it down and it worked out well as something that happened during "Once More, With Feeling." Anyway, onto the story.

_"__That's disgusting. What did it look like?"_

_"Well... let's put it this way. If I wasn't gay before..."_

- _Willow and Tara in_ Entropy

SCENE: Behind the DoubleMeat Palace.

A worker is throwing the garbage in the dumpster when suddenly he's confronted by Wig Lady – sans wig. The Lamprey demon grows out of the top of her head and the worker start to scream.

LAMPREY:                 Please stop screamin'

                                    I'm just a humble demon

                                    Who likes to eat the DoubleMeat staff.

                                    You taste so nice and sweet

                                    So full of all that meat

                                    From your neck right down to your calf.

                                    Now I'm going to paralyze you.

                                    Don't worry it won't sterilize you.

                                    It's only a little dose.

                                    [sprays DoubleMeat Palace worker with paralyzing fluid]

DMP WORKER:            Ew, gross!

LAMPREY:                 I know it might offend

                                    And I won't pretend

                                    That my form doesn't make people sick.

                                    But those words just aggravate me

                                    And they really irritate me

                                    I know that I look like a giant…

DMP WORKER:            Ick!

LAMPREY:                 But I have feelings, don't you know?

                                    I'm putting on all this show

                                    Just so that you will come to like me.

                                    Is it too much for me to expect

                                    For you to have a little respect

                                    Because your words really do strike me.

DMP WORKER:            I'm so sorry; I didn't know.

                                    It's just when I saw that thing grow

                                    Out of your head, I got a little scared.

                                    But now I'm not afraid

                                    And I won't try to evade

                                    Your teeth, for I know now how much you cared.

LAMPREY:                 Thank you so much for not resisting

                                    For this is how I keep existing

                                    I'm so glad that this place is around!

                                    No need to be nervous

                                    Such customer service!

                                    And now I am going to chomp down.

                                    [it does and starts eating the DoubleMeat worker]


	13. M is for Marcie Ross

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Marcie Ross

Takes place sometime after Season 1

_"Look. Listen. Learn__."_

- _Marcie Ross in _Out of Mind, Out of Sight

There was an exquisite darkness to the warehouse. Light shone in from windows that had not been opened for decades – but one was open now. No one was looking out from it.

Outside, it was a sunny day, the perfect kind for picnics or parades. Which was what the city was having, a parade. Right down main street, as if from out of an old movie. But things weren't in black and white.

A car, the top pulled down, rolled slowly down the street, its occupants waving from side to side. There were five people in the car: a man, a woman, a small girl, and two men in black suits with sunglasses and earpieces.

The man was a politician. A Senator. No one didn't know his name. He waved counterfeit waves, smiled phony smiles. When sad, he cried crocodile tears.

The woman was his wife. No one didn't know her name as well. She was ambitious; she was persuading her husband slowly to try and run for President.

The girl was their daughter. No one knew her name. She was an innocent. Don't touch.

The men in black were Secret Service. No one knew their names. They worked with no one.

No one looked out of the window and into the parade. No one saw the Senator and his smiling wife and his innocent daughter. No one aimed and no one fired off two shots.

There was screaming. No one listened and smiled.


	14. N is for Natalie French

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

Natalie French

Takes place sometime before Season 1

"There is nothing ugly about these unique creatures. The reason they live alone is because they're cannibals!"

- _Natalie French in _Teacher's Pet

The interior of the house was decorated with various paintings and artifacts – she was glad she had chosen this one. She had found throughout the years that an interior like this would calm people as much as the drug she put in their drink.

Right now she was in New York City, New York. It was raining outside and the young man she had invited over was drenched.

"Oh my," she said rising from where she was sitting on the loveseat. "You must be soaked to the bone. Let me get you something to warm you up."

"Thank you," he said. He was young – only a boy really – but that was okay. She knew the younger they were the better chance that they had not had their first experience yet.

She came back with a towel in one hand and a martini in the other. "Here's something to warm you up," she said handing him the towel and then held out the martini, "and here something to really warm you up."

The young man looked at the martini with bewilderment. He had never been offered a drink in his life – even though he had asked many times. He held it with a shivering hand and drank it all in one gulp.

"My goodness," she said. "Come, sit on here." She sat down on the loveseat and motioned for him to sit adjacent to her. He did. His eyes were immediately drawn to her dress, which managed to show enough cleavage to entice him, but not enough to really give anything away. She liked this part.

It had been a while since she last did this. The last time she had practiced seduction was in the 1930s – but then the '40s came around and everyone suspected of everyone else being a Nazi spy and she couldn't go around leaving a trail of disappearing bodies. She remembered the last one she did; 1941, Cleveland. An art student whom she persuaded to come home with her. She was a redhead then – she could have any hair color she wanted, any body shape she wanted. The only thing that couldn't change were her eyes.

But that was then, this was now. And now the young man was shivering on a loveseat in a house she had taken from a corpse in the basement. She grinned, exposing her pearl-white teeth, and placed a hand on the man's wet knee. "Have you ever been with a woman before?" she asked.

She wasn't surprised when he shook him head.


	15. O is for the Old Ones

Title: The Monster's Alphabet

Author: alliterator

Summary: A series of vignettes, from Adam to Zookeeper. Spoilers for all seven seasons.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine; everything belongs to the great and power Whedon.

The Old Ones

Takes place a long, long time ago. Spoilers for _A Hole in the World_.

_"For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures..."_

- _Giles in _The Harvest.

Once upon a time, the earth was a paradise. Except it wasn't a paradise for humans – no, they were here, but not advanced enough, no agriculture, no cities or towns.

No, this was a paradise for demons. And it was ruled by the Originals, the capital-D Demons. They were called many names – most unpronounceable and long, describing various scales and slithery tongues, but one name described them all: the Old Ones.

There were many Old Ones back then. They ruled their respected lands with iron fists and claws and tentacles.

There was one that was particularly vile. Its temple was enormous; statues of it in its various forms littered the halls. Tentacles rose up from the floor, forming a Lovecraftian nightmare. In the center of the tentacles is it.

It has no gender, but sometimes it likes to try different ones out. Its shape shifting power allows that. Today it is a she.

She is a vision of death. Corpses surround her throne. She infects them with her tentacles, going through their orifices and changing them from the inside out. She makes them submissive to her.

She looks at one of the bodies. It is human – usually, she doesn't bother with humans. They are not good as slaves; their backs break easily. But t his one… he dared to invade her sacred temple and try to assassinate her. He dared to try and touch her holy body.

He would pay, but not by death. She would change him. He had screamed at her in an incomprehensible language and now she reached into his mind to speak to him in it. Moving past the primitive barriers, she found the reason why he had attacked: his family had been murdered for food by one of the other Old Ones and he was out for revenge. She smiled with what might be called a mouth and spoke perfectly in his language.

"You seek vengeance? You are nothing. You are a dust mote, a microscopic particle on our flesh. You are not even a disease. But now, you will be."

Her tentacles invade his body and she uses ancient magic – as old as she is, perhaps older – to transmute his flesh, to make a man into something… else.

Within minutes, he is no more. He is instead scattered across the floor as minute molecules.

The next day, she is not feeling well. Her temperature fluctuates and she cannot control it. The day after it is worse.

A month later, Illyria dies. Her followers entomb her and bring her to the Deeper Well to be buried.

A year later, she is nothing but dust.

100,000 years later, she, too, is a disease.


End file.
